Hopita (hopita) wrote,

I am airless, a vacuum child

Hello, I'm smoking.

This weekend has not been one of my favorites.

I woke up like a shot at 5:00 am -- sat bolt upright -- terrified, though now I only remember glimpses of the dream ... unixd0rk, The Co-op ... Today is MAD Day at The Co-op and I'm not looking forward to it. Slammed all day, having to be constantly "on" ... and maybe that's why this morning's urge for a smoke was so irresistible ... The emotion was too much, yesterday was too hard ... I can't keep being this emotional ...

Arg. Crap. This post is going nowhere that I wanted it to go.

I hope to see Miss Prissy Pants at The Co-op today. I hope to stop smoking again soon. I hope that the next time I have a couple of days off, I do some better work on figuring out who the hell I am and what the fuck I want to be.

Yea. Maybe the weekend of MAD Day was not the best time to try to quit smoking again.

Thanks to ratphooey, to anyone and everyone who's offered their support. I really do appreciate it.
Tags: dreams, eefc, mad day, miss prissy pants, ratphooey, smoking, stress, unixd0rk

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