So I'm still watching TV, and still waiting for n0thingman to wake up and feel better, and still crying on top of it all. Little things, little thoughts, seem to send me over the edge today. Like these roses we have at work. They're all open and no one should buy them now -- they'll be dead soon -- but every time I walk past them I have to smell them ... I remember working on Valentine's Day, and wondering if some regular customer would do something sweet like buy a bunch of flowers and give each of the workers one of them. For the record, no one did. And I stop and I smell those roses and I wonder: when was the last time someone gave me roses? The 1990s, I'm pretty sure of that (unless you count the chocolate rose that n0thingman stole from the frat boys once upon a time, although that may've actually been in 1999, so same difference).
This post doesn't even really mean much of anything. Just more of me being sad and lonely, I suppose. Actually, I told Miss Prissy Pants that, more than anything else, I felt exhausted right now. It's pretty true. He said depression can take a lot out of you, which is also pretty true. But I just feel mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. Just fucking beat.