Oh my stars, it's actually true, what I said. Thirteen hours without a cigarette, and I've just started crying again ... and over the stupidest thing. I've got nothing to do so I was sitting here, watching all the TV shows that I taped but never watched because I was too busy being at his house and being all happy. I was watching "Judging Amy," the episode that aired two or three weeks ago. I actually caught the tail end of that episode at his house -- just the last five minutes or so -- sitting on his bed with him and Shane. I remember it because of a joke Tyne Daly made, about patchouli smelling like the bus station, like "peaches and urine." And she said that line, that stupid, stupid line, and I just burst out crying, and now I can't seem to stop.

My back is in spasms and I've eaten all the peanut ginger chews and my baby brother called to tell me that he moved to Pittsburgh two days ago. And all I want to do is curl up into a little ball and just keep crying.