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The morning sad


So today I have to hand in my self-evaluation forms at work. I'd been procrastinating filling them out at the end of last week, mostly due to laziness and distraction. Now, however, the time has run out, and I'm struggling to get these fuckers filled in. It doesn't help that I'm hungover as fuck, and still pretty fucking depressed. And, as I was filling out the one form, it occurred to me that if I have the meeting with the Front End Manager today to discuss my performance, I am so gonna start crying. I have a hard time not taking shit like that personally as it is; hungover and broken hearted, I'm sure to get all weepy all over her.

This blows.

I couldn't fall asleep until after 4:00 am, until I took some melatonin. I thought that unixd0rk had cured me of my melatonin addiction; now I think that my need for melatonin is directly related to smoking. As in, no smoking = I can sleep; smoking = I need melatonin. So I haven't smoked since I crashed last night, and I've put the leftover cigarettes into my work bag to give to somebody there. Slip, fall, get back up again.

And as for my broken heart, well ... yea. Talked to a few friends, though only n0thingman in any great detail, which is as it should be, I suppose. ratphooey seemed much more pissed off about the whole situation than I did. lurpy matched my tale of heartbreak with his own. n0thingman sat on the phone with me all night, and sent me to bed with loving words and thoughts. I can hardly find words to describe how much I appreciated it.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 13th, 2005 10:30 pm (UTC)
Not pissed off, really. Frustrated? Yes. Irked? Sure.
Apr. 14th, 2005 02:12 am (UTC)
It wasn't meant as a criticism -- sorry if it came off that way.

And what are the stages of grieving? Because I think I entered "anger" at some point today. I've just arrived home from work; a pissed off post should be forthcoming.
Apr. 14th, 2005 02:23 am (UTC)
I didn't feel criticized, just inaccurately assessed. So I corrected the record.

The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You're making good progress. :-)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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