Hopita (hopita) wrote,

depression update

As told to n0thingman ...

I sat in the tub for a while. I'm done with that for now, but am not ruling out the possibility of doing it again in the future.

Also, I'm drunk enough that I'm bumping into things, but not so drunk that I'm knocking them over when I do.

Drunk enough to have sent an email to Hipster (a very brief email, in response to a mass email he sent out a few days ago), not drunk enough to have called H.W.S.R.N. (though I did actually consider the possibility ... something about being drunk, depressed, and smoking makes me think of him ... and how sad is that?).

I'm pondering my possibilities and also pondering the appropriateness of discussing them in this particular format. But the questioning goes something like this: how do I keep myself from getting involved in the same mess that I found myself in with H.W.S.R.N.? Santa Dan once said something about "intermittent reinforcement," and the ways in which it fucks with my (and his) head. I feel like I should clarify that statement, but I don't really know how. I suppose the gist is that I need to figure out where my lines are and then find a way to not cross them, or blur them, or otherwise set myself up for more drunken weepy mornings.
Tags: alcohol, depression, h.w.s.r.n., hipster, orange mike, planetjupiter, unixd0rk

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