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It's 5:51 am. At about 5:20, I think I gave up on trying to sleep. For the most part I just flat out couldn't, but every so often I would actually drift off, only to wake with a start ... sweaty, out of breath, scared. Big fun, let me tell you.

I'm eating tin after tin full of Altoids, Tic Tacs, and Velamints, and found myself obsessively thinking about kissing throughout the course of the night -- orally fixate much? Oh, and now that I'm up, I have a wicked sore throat. Blech.

So I took more sheets and blankets downstairs and now I'm doing yet more laundry (no, Karl did not get there first today ... I'd've been mighty surprised if he started his laundry before 5:20 in the morning).

And will I have the strength to go roller skating with lurpy and sillylilboi tonight? I want to, but I'm afraid that being around sillylilboi will make me want to smoke (even if he does smoke menthols, which I find nasty).

I'm having a hard time focusing right now. I suspect I'll be writing more later anyway.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 23rd, 2005 01:28 pm (UTC)
I had to stop with all the candies before I rotted my teeth out. I was a heavy chainsmoker since I had to go elswhere to smoke (i.e. in the basement or outside), so I took a book and read/smoked for hours.

Speaking of kissing, I had a (series of) flashback(s) from when we were dating and we used to make out in that bowl by the Pitt Law School. You were in one of your non-smoking phases, and you told me that kissing me after I smoked was like licking an ahstray. You were sweet about it, and it never stopped you from kissing me. I remember chewing stick upon stick of gum or cert upon cert before meeting you, and the phrase, "minty ashtray" along with your smiling face comes to mind.

Have you found a hobby yet? Having something relaxing to do with my hands helped a lot.
Mar. 23rd, 2005 05:30 pm (UTC)
After your paragraph on making out by the law school, the "find something relaxing to do with your hands" comment just kind of sounds like you're suggesting masturbation. Not that masturbation is a bad thing, mind you, but if I masturbated as often as I used to smoke .... OK, I can't even wrap my brain around that concept.
Mar. 24th, 2005 04:56 am (UTC)
sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry to run for my bus - which I just made, btw.

I don't know how much you smoked, but if you smoked more than 10 cigarettes a day, then masturbating that much in one day can't possibly be relaxing! Think of the carpal tunnel syndrome or the finger cramps!
I'm not suggesting anything of the sort. Whatever you do in the privacy of your own home, or in the company of like minded consenting adults is your business :)

I meant to put the question about the hobby in a previous comment, but I fotgot, and in my haste, I stuck it where I did. I see now where it could be misread.

What I meant was that before I quit, I did a lot of reading on the American Cancer Society's website (and others). A new activity or hobby can help take your mind off of the craving. I was thinking of something like knitting/crochet/drawing/writing - something creative since it balances the destructive act of smoking.

I had to share the memory though. it was the forst thing that the gelatinus mass of a hard drive called my brain flashed in to my head when I read the words "smoking" and "oral". Could have been worse
Mar. 23rd, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC)
I love Laurie Anderson
Mar. 27th, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
I just introduced unixd0rk to Laurie Anderson on Friday (well, to her music, at any rate). He became an instant fan.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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