Hopita (hopita) wrote,

Late night ramblings

Another sleepless night. I took a leftover Percocet and, while it did calm me down, it did not knock me out. C'est la vie.

Today -- well, yesterday, if you want to get technical -- I went to Cheyenne's parents' house in McDonald, Ohio for Lea my Goddess Daughter's 3rd birthday party. It was a day.

I bummed a smoke from Joe (hard to be around that crowd and not smoke) and sure enough, on the way home, I stopped on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and bought myself a pack. Sat on the curb at the rest stop, smoking a cigarette, staring at the hills, and having a moment. I love being alone on the road. I sat there as the sun went down and just gave myself a moment to soak it all in, to think.

I've had the Joydrop song "Sometimes Wanna Die" stuck in my head for a while now, ever since Liz started playing it all the time at Quiet Storm, and my mission for tomorrow is to go out and buy a copy of it for myself.

Cheyenne's Dad replaced the valve stem on my leaky tire.

It sounds like such a simple thing -- I mentioned my leaky tire to Chey and within fifteen minutes her Dad was out there, futzing and tinkering.

But to me, this was a huge deal. It made me feel so taken care of.

A simple gesture on his part and I couldn't find the words to thank him enough, or to let him, or Chey, or anyone know just how much it meant to me.

I hate it when people's parents don't like me. Orange Mike's parents don't like me. I mean they really don't like me. And to have this friend's father do this favor for me, without being asked -- just to walk over and do something nice for me -- it made me want to cry. Just thinking about it now makes me want to cry.

Forget smoking, drinking, getting sunburnt -- to me, right now, the most important things I want to do for my health are to touch and be touched by another human being, and to laugh heartily, each and every day. I'm lucky that during this past week I've been able to hug someone each and every single day. Cheyenne, zostrianos, Bill Shannon ... each of these people have made my life just a tiny bit more livable, and for that I am thankful.

And that thought, along with the relief I felt as I crossed the border into Ohio this afternoon, have made me think that maybe going to reunion is the thing to do. Hey antiochbitch, antiochwhore and wackywallflower: If I make it to Antioch at the end of the month, what current students should I look up?
Tags: antioch, antiochbitch, antiochwhore, cheychey79, crutchmaster, crying, drugs, friends, insomnia, love, orange mike, quiet storm, smoking, wackywallflower, zostrianos

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