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Vampire Hanuka.

Yesterday afternoon I (finally!) attended my new member orientation for Park Slope Food Co-op. It was over by around 6:00 pm, but I wasn't meeting aaronbenedict until around 8:00 for the Steelers game (go Steelers! Woo!), so I had some time to kill in the neighborhood.

While walking toward the bar, I passed a Barnes & Noble. I'd been looking for a 2011 datebook, and since I had the time, I figured I'd stop in and see what they had in stock. I'd never been to this particular Barnes & Noble before, and I took a wrong turn on my way to the calendars. Pretty soon I found myself in the "Teen Paranormal Romance" section. I was immediately approached by a Lubavitcher lady, intent on Jewing me up.

Transcript of our conversation (as told to sabotabby):

HER: Can I ask you a question?
ME: Sure.
HER: Are you Jewish?
ME: Yes.
HER: Do you need a menorah?
ME: No.
HER: Have you lit the menorah?
ME: Not tonight.
HER: Do you need candles?
ME: No.
HER: Oh, well can I give you [some religious tract -- I forget what it was called]?
ME: No.
HER: How about [something featuring the word "Moshiach"]?
ME: No.
HER: A [some other piece of religious dreck], then?
ME: No.
HER: Oh, well, OK.

I can't decide which I think is more odd: That there is such a thing as the "Teen Paranormal Romance" section, or that that's where the Lubavitcher ladies troll for converts.


Dec. 6th, 2010 10:06 pm (UTC)
Yea, those would be the Lubavitchers, AKA Chabad. The long story short is that because of the Jewish prohibition on proselytizing, we're/they're not allowed to try to convert non-Jews. Instead they channel all of that religious fervor into trying to make Jews more Jewish. I'm sure he assumed that when you said you weren't Jewish you were lying to try to block his efforts to Jew you up. If only you'd just admitted your Jewishness, he could have stuffed your hands full of literature.

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