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April Angst

Hi-diddly ho neighborinos.

I'm one stressed out mamma jamma.

Let's see ... I've been dabbling with smoking again -- there's a good place to start. One on Sunday, OK, OK, we can write that off, but then three last night, and another 3 1/2 this morning ... though this time, some good judgement kicked in, made me pay attention to the fact that -- hey -- I wasn't enjoying the feeling, didn't want to be doing what I was doing, so I put out the one I was smoking, and crumpled the remaining few in the pack. I still have a full pack locked in the trunk of my car, and maybe I'll take a page from H.W.S.R.N. ... when he quit, he took his remaining tin of tobacco and gave it away. I was so fucking impressed with that; knew it was what I should do, but lacked the guevos or whatever to do so. My bad.

The smoking came from a week of stress, or maybe a week that simply ended in stress, in drama that was a culmination of a bunch of bad things to mix together, like PMS, teasing, sleeplessness, and, oh yes, did I mention stress? People should learn by now that I don't play nice when I'm PMSing. Blech. And I don't even feel like anyone is at fault -- me or anyone else -- just like ... like it was a bad week for any serious topics to be discussed. Grrrr. Yea, so now all I've accomplished is that my heart is going pitty pat and my throat feels tight and I'm FUCKING MAD AT MYSELF for being such a goddamn loser sheep. Baaaaaaaaaaa ...

Anyway ... happy birthday to rawdolphin and for the love of Pete, somebody PLEASE give me some fucking housing in DC!

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
beautifulday72
Apr. 17th, 2004 08:54 am (UTC)
I've been totally jonesing for a cigarette myself. Stress will do that to a person. So far I've fought it off, but I can't say definitively that I won't cave. Good for you for recognizing your good judgment when it kicked in. :)
rawdolphin
Apr. 17th, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks. bJ might have acoach, but I don't have her e-mail anymore & she's not on Chez92 (too annoying)

maybe do an lj search on a dc list?
suewan
Apr. 18th, 2004 02:37 pm (UTC)
I have BJ's email address and I owe her an email ...would you like me to email her with regards to housing, Hope?
hopita
Apr. 18th, 2004 04:52 pm (UTC)
I think I'm gonna just take a bus on Sunday morning, march, then bus it back on Sunday night. Still, if you're planning on emailing her anyway, then sure, mention it.
(Anonymous)
Apr. 26th, 2004 07:58 am (UTC)
You can quit
Hope,

I know what you're feeling. At stressful times, I find myself saying, "God, I want/need a cigarette!" (yes, I used the "n" word) I haven't caved in yet - mostly since I can't afford cigarettes - but I've been tempted. I've been chewing a lot of gum - sugarless. It takes the edge off sometimes.

When I quit, I got rid of not only my cigarettes, but my ashtrays as well.

Try a new hobby or activity. You have an open invitation to come over and learn to bake or go bike riding (once you get your bike fixed). just call first ;-)

You can beat this!

--Alan
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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