During the five minutes that it took for the hearing to be continued til next month, I had one of those moments ... Sitting along the side wall in the courtroom, to my left, Bob's parents were crying, to my right, the woman who killed him was crying ... I wondered where he stood in that courtroom, surrounded by people living through such trauma, caused all in a careless instant. I wondered if his hands rested on his mother's shoulders, if he was in that courtroom at all.
The press descended like vultures and I tried to deal with the joy of seeing all of those bicyclists outside protesting and the grief of watching his mother cry yet again, while trying to come up with whatever sound bite the 6:00 news was searching for ... most notable is the ABC affiliate, who, in hindsight, was clearly trying to get me to cry for the cameras, with such tough questions as "How did you feel when you heard he had died?" and "You miss him, don't you?"
Then I ran outside (yes, for a cigarette) and completely freaked the Hell out all over Eric the Squatter ... made a handful of phone calls (including one to Dan: he couldn't make it because he had to work. I told him it felt good to see Eunice Bates cry, to know that she had at least some sense of what a horrible thing she'd done) ... during a call to my Dad, KDKA News Radio beeped in on my other line (OK, where the fuck did they get my cell phone number from?) and I did yet another interview.
In the end, I feel like too much attention was on me. The day was about Bob, and about bicycle safety. I feel ... well, to tell the truth, I don't really know how I feel.
Here are some links:
Bicyclists Silently Protest Downtown
Cyclists Protest Downtown Wednesday