I had a dream I was in my parents' kitchen (again). I had to clean and wash dishes, and get the recycling ready (note: these are all things I was doing at Grandma's apartment last night). There were lots of people there, people who, in real life, I don't know. People - and my mother in particular - kept bringing more things to the sink for me to wash & deal with. I was having problems. Every time I would step away from the sink, someone would turn the lights out and move stuff around. I couldn't find a sponge (note: this also happened at Grandma's last night), and, when I did finally find one, it was all dirty & falling apart. The recycling bag looked green and I tried to explain to my mother that recycling had to go in blue bags, but when someone moved all the recycling bags, I saw that the bag was in fact blue - that it had just been stretched out in places and only looked green there.
The crowds of people kept filing in and out of the kitchen, giving me more work to do. At one point I stepped away from the sink to complain to my mother, and sure enough, as soon as I stepped away, somebody turned the lights out again. I started yelling about it and turned them back on, and a woman next to me, with short blonde hair, explained that she had terrible problems with her eyes (like my aunt) and that the light hurt them. I calmed down, felt like an idiot, and turned the lights back off.
It was around this point that my Grandmother showed up. She was always very picky about cleanliness, and I was stressing because I wasn't ready - the kitchen was still a mess. Even though she couldn't see very well after the stroke, she could still always spot the tiniest little bit of dirt on the floor, and, sure enough, she started noticing little spots of dirt on the floor. I got down on my hands and knees and started trying to clean them all up as quickly as I could.
The crowds of people kept filing in and out of the kitchen, giving me more work to do. At one point I stepped away from the sink to complain to my mother, and sure enough, as soon as I stepped away, somebody turned the lights out again. I started yelling about it and turned them back on, and a woman next to me, with short blonde hair, explained that she had terrible problems with her eyes (like my aunt) and that the light hurt them. I calmed down, felt like an idiot, and turned the lights back off.
It was around this point that my Grandmother showed up. She was always very picky about cleanliness, and I was stressing because I wasn't ready - the kitchen was still a mess. Even though she couldn't see very well after the stroke, she could still always spot the tiniest little bit of dirt on the floor, and, sure enough, she started noticing little spots of dirt on the floor. I got down on my hands and knees and started trying to clean them all up as quickly as I could.
Comments
Seems like your subconscious is making metaphors for you trying to make 'order out of chaos' in your life. Everytime you start to make progress someone piles on more dirty dishes you that you have to deal with. This seems to be a good analogy for your life for the past few months.
Recycling = Symbols of recurring problems perhaps? Or wasted time/effort? the fact that it was overflowing is interesting, too many to fit in their container, again a symbol of chaos, that you are barely able to contain all the emotions inside of you right now.
Lights going off = the inability to make sense of the situation, and the fact that other people have control of the switch.
Your Grandmother = You are working hard to impress her and make her happy but nothing you can do seems like it's enough. Also perhaps this is another representation of being helpless, you cant bring her back, no matter how hard you try (and how much you look for the sponge to absorb all the problems, you cant find it), and you want her to be proud and think highly of you, so you are doing all you can.