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Feb. 12th, 2004

I feel so all alone right now, sitting here, waiting. I know I should try to sleep and soon enough I will, but I'm striving for honesty and exorcism and all that jazz.

I want someone to come and sit with me. To just be here and sit quietly, or listen, if that's what's called for, or distract me, if that's what's called for. No, I don't need everyone to fucking respond by saying "::hugs::" (or, worse yet, "hugz," or "::hUgZ::" or anything else that smacks of PLURism) ... what I want is someone to fucking SIT HERE.

Like, geez, remember back in the day when Orange Mike was in the dorms and we'd go out just about every night, driving around, loitering at Ritter's, whatever ... back when he said that flashing traffic lights reminded him of me. Now he's staying with his parents and working two jobs and just generally unavailable, and, at the moment, it just feels like more than I can bear.

Fuck. This is turning into a giant sappy squishy steaming screaming pile of crap.

The big meeting is tomorrow morning. Decisions will be made. My Grandmother is 91 and has lived a fabulous, full life, but still ... I think I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

My dreams are all about Bob, and yet he doesn't appear in them ... just Dan, and cocaine, and bicycles. I want to see his face again.

I'm not making any sense.

khaosinc, where the hell are you?

And zostrianos, empty your inbox so I can send you that damn email already.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
x355955
Feb. 12th, 2004 10:57 pm (UTC)
*sItZ*
hopita
Feb. 13th, 2004 09:03 pm (UTC)
Re:
That's why I love you, Chuck ... you crack me up.
khaosinc
Feb. 12th, 2004 11:23 pm (UTC)
im somewhere... should be home at a rreasonable hour even for the east coast tommorow...
ratphooey
Feb. 13th, 2004 04:01 am (UTC)
:: sitting ::
(Anonymous)
Feb. 13th, 2004 07:01 am (UTC)
Time
Hope,

It's good to see you writing in your LJ again. That said, I'm sure others have told you that what you're feeling is normal, and the pain will ease with time. I know firsthand that it doesn't make it any easier.

--Alan
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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