Hopita (hopita) wrote,

The One.

I should be going home -- and I will in a minute. But for right now I want to talk about what's been running through my head all day.

Early this morning, aaronbenedict said something that kind of amounted to I'm not "The One." It wasn't harsh or rude or mean -- It was in the context of the idea of soulmates and what he always perceived his would be like (bottom line: religious. Unlike me).

It's funny. A number of years ago, I actually gave up on the idea of soulmates. I had believed in it for a while, but when I pondered what I wanted then (grey hair, maturity, kindness, calm) versus what I had wanted ten years earlier (hipster Buddy Holly-boy who -- yes -- was Jewish), I realized that if I couldn't make up my mind on what "The One" was supposed to be like, then probably the whole notion was crap. Even now, some of the traits that were absolute musts just a few years ago (being a smoker, for example) are completely nixed from my list now.

It's an evolutionary process. And what are the odds that a person exists out there who is evolving in just the exact same way that I am?

So I had given up on the notion of soulmates. Ironically, until I reconnected with aaronbenedict, that is.

aaronbenedict made me believe that there could be such a thing as soulmates. We were so different -- in our experiences, in our backgrounds -- and yet so alike in the way we perceived ... well, everything. If this boy that I loved 25 years ago could be completely not who I'd expect to find myself with (religiously observant) and I could still love him this much, then maybe this notion of soulmates did make some kind of sense after all.

And now he lays this bombshell at my feet: "The One" that he envisioned is not me.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Hope that he'll change his mind ("evolve") and continue to trudge ahead? Call it quits and give up on the best relationship I've had in my entire adult life?

I realize this is coming off like one of Carrie's columns in Sex and the City but really: How much does it matter that he believes I can be "The One"?
Tags: aaronbenedict, jew, relationships, religion, sex and the city, smoking, the one

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