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I've been sitting here at Quiet Storm for a while now. Jordan and Peezy were entertaining me for a while, but they've since left.

Peezy was wearing this great t-shirt: "Saving lives one cat at a time." And his shirt was giving me this great vision of him as a super hero, driving around the country in his DRAMA van, and saving lives, one cat at a time.

I feel less sick now than I did early this morning, but that's not saying much. I'd hoped to either be here tonight for Co-op Rocks, or else to swing by Chatham and see Mitch, Tait, and Noel's band, Moment. But the more I sit, the less energy I feel. What I do feel are the aches and pains and general feelings of congestedness. Eek.

Hmmm. Or maybe I will go to this darn show tonight, if only to spend an evening someplace other than here. Not that Quiet Storm is a bad place to be. Well, OK, I was thinking earlier today about that Halloween party at the Dafodil 11 Collective. That night, among other things, was the first time I'd seen Peezy in about two months (which I remember because of a particular topic of conversation that night ... I'd been geeked to see him because I'd wanted to tell him he was right about something, but that's a long, other story, and one that I can't post here). At any rate, that night I was telling Peezy that it had been two months since we'd seen each other, and he couldn't believe it was true, but it was. Now, of course, I see him just about every day, and I was trying to think how things had become so different. Well, there's the weather. And there's the situation with the people in my life ... the people I spent all of my time with in late spring and early fall (Monica, H.W.S.R.N.) are, in one way or another, gone now ... and of course I had a fucking job then. Several, actually. From The Pittsburgh Film Office to ESPN Dream Job to Texas Justice, I was a woman with a plan of action back then. Now I'm just a woman.

And, yes, I suspect that I knew all along it would come down to this. I felt it when Texas Justice went on hiatus in the beginning of November ... I was going back into Standby Mode, putting myself up on the shelf, like I tried to do over the summer of 1992 (before Bill Berry yanked me out of not only that funk, but Pittsburgh ... love ya, Bill ... you always did know what was best for me) ... and now, with about a month left before the hiatus is over, well, it seems silly to do anything about it now. It's mostly over. Show comes back next month. May as well suck it up and stick it out. I've made it this far, after all.

But really: is this any way to live?

I told Mark Yokim I wanted to work at Whole Foods. I applied at Tela Ropa, but they never called (and when last I saw Alisa, she said she wasn't working there anymore). The Co-op hasn't been hiring in a while (I saw they were hiring dish washers, but by the time I saw the ad, the deadline had long since passed). I swear I read the papers every fucking week, and every fucking week it's "be a bartender" or "be a stripper," and I repeatedly wonder aloud if alcoholism is the only growth industry in this fucking town.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jan. 10th, 2004 04:39 pm (UTC)
I feel for ya
And to think Mayor Smurphy wants to add gambling...

Seriously, Pittsburgh's a tough market. When I went back to school in 2000, the tech industry was booming. After I graduated from IADT (AKA Computer Tech), the dot com bust had happened, and low level tech jobs were beginning to be exported to India. I've sent out more resumes than I can count, and I've had slightly more than a handful of interviews, and the only paid work I've seen was for my dad. I keep plugging away though.

Stick it out. You'll do fine :)

There's nothing wrong with you being a woman. I kinda liked you that way when we were dating :-)

--Alan
hopita
Jan. 10th, 2004 07:40 pm (UTC)
Re: I feel for ya
I wasn't lamenting my gender; merely my lack of direction at the moment.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 10th, 2004 08:16 pm (UTC)
Re: I feel for ya
I know that, but I've always been a smart ass. Probably came from all those years watching M*A*S*H when I was younger. Alan Alda was a bad influence on me.
hopita
Jan. 10th, 2004 08:21 pm (UTC)
Re: I feel for ya
Ah, Alan Alda. The original S.N.A.G.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 10th, 2004 08:41 pm (UTC)
Re: I feel for ya
S.N.A.G? Dare I ask?

At least I didn't comment on the "stripper" part :-)

Laughter's good when you're sick, btw. It helps you cough up all that yucky stuff *g*
hopita
Jan. 11th, 2004 07:41 am (UTC)
Re: I feel for ya
S.N.A.G.

Sensitive New Age Guy.
rawdolphin
Jan. 10th, 2004 05:08 pm (UTC)
Where the hell is Monica? She stopped replying to my messages weeks ago. Is she planning on publishing my manuscript? I stopped working on it for now but want to know if I should give it my immediate attention.
hopita
Jan. 10th, 2004 07:44 pm (UTC)
Monica went to England. She's actually supposed to be back any day now - I'd planned on sending her emails and text messages this evening asking about her plans.

The last few times she went to England, she ended up staying about a year longer than planned. Then again, the last two trips she took inside the US, she came back on schedule, so I have no clue what to expect this time.
rawdolphin
Jan. 10th, 2004 08:31 pm (UTC)
hmpf. thanks for the info. Yeah, her contacts are in London for publishing so my guess is once she got there, they weren't as thrilled as planned.

I've been staying pretty "whatever" about the whole unlikely thing but people saying they'll contact me then disappearing is my pet peeve.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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