Through a random series of events, I ended up finding one of my favorite articles ever online. Note that it says it was written by "Don Savage." It kind of reads like it could be Dan Savage, but I don't know for sure. Sadly, the best line of the article got typoed; it should be "While Ken now has a cock ring, he still doesn't have a cock."
ETA: Of course it was Dan Savage! Sheesh. Here is a much cleaner link.