I just got off the phone with the vet and I think I may be panicking. She consulted with another doctor and they both definitely see a tumor on the x-ray. They can't confirm the cancer diagnosis without a biopsy, but the tumor is somewhere -- in his sinuses -- where they can't really reach it. I could decide to be aggressive and do radiation, but it would first take an MRI ($1,250 - $1,500) and then two weeks of daily anesthesia and radiation ($4,000+), and the feline oncologist is in Cleveland, which means travel and time off from work and just general crap. As an added bonus, the tumor is at a point where I basically have to decide RIGHT NOW if I want to treat it, because if it grows any more, it'll be too late to do anything.

I know. I know I need to just stay with him and manage his pain and let him go gracefully. But the idea of this thing growing inside his head that will hurt and make him unable to breathe ... oh my stars I can't fucking handle this.