They're great questions, and I'm sure I'm not even doing it justice here. But in that moment, sitting there, listening to her, I was struck by the fact that so many of my heroes -- ani difranco, Frida Kahlo, Geneen Roth -- are women who so thoroughly put their emotional lives out there. I thought about all of the men in my past who'd been so intimidated by my emotions, and I tried to imagine someone bitching to Frida that her paintings were just so darn depressing -- couldn't she paint some nice flowers? I tried to imagine ani's songs without the constant questioning, or without the inherent knowledge that how she felt was how she felt, and that was OK.
My heroes are messy women with messy lives and messy feelings. Sometimes I forget that, and I try to clean my life up to make the people around me less uncomfortable. But it never works, and I always end up right back here, being exactly who I am. Ain't it a bitch?