Hopita (hopita) wrote,
Hopita
hopita

Mentally Ill.

I came home from work. I told eric I was feeling "mentally ill" and went home. Crashed (Tino tried to nap with me, but it was just too warm), got a two hour nap, and feel moderately better now.

I think mainly I just needed to not be there, to not be around him. The worst moment: walking up the ramp from the HBA Office and the produce pit, him, walking backwards, pulling a cart, and me, walking right behind him. And with me two feet away and directly in front of his face, he didn't look at me once. That blew. And it blew because when he'd arrived at work, he'd tried to say hi and I grumbled and blew him off, so I knew that he was just responding to my surly disposition.

I tried to fix it afterward -- walked by, gave him a little pat with my water bottle, something to say "hey -- we can be civil," but I felt so hideously ill-equipped to be the grown up today that I ultimately decided I needed to walk away.

Plus, when I was sitting at the CS Desk, Bill came over and gave me a hug and I started crying. He asked what was wrong and, when I could finally speak, I told him I'd taken too much kava. He picked up the bottle, read the phrase "promotes a sense of wellbeing," and took them away from me.

It was time to go home.
Tags: bill, crying, drugs, eefc, eric, insanity, sprout, tino
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