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Defeatist bullshit.

I am having such a hard time this week.

I had this weird little moment today where I was kind of connecting with Sprout -- sitting, talking -- and I've felt so groundless since pghwob left ... I don't really have a close friend here anymore.

And as we were talking and starting to connect, We Can't All Be showed up and derailed everything, and changed the subject, and just generally made a lot of noise like he always does.

Which generally doesn't even bother me -- he's an old friend and I'll always have a soft spot for him.

I'm in such desperate need of some understandin'.

And no one will get that joke but me.


Next week, I suspect I'm going to see hundreds of my long losts. It's gonna be miles beyond intense. How will my fragile psyche handle an entire week of such extreme highs ("OMG! I haven't seen you in ten years! I've missed you so much!") and extreme lows (the fears and sorrows about Antioch)?

I really wish I didn't feel so friendless right now. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but it sucks. My heart is broken, and I'm not really sure who to talk to this time around.

Miss Prissy Pants came by to see me today. That was kinda great.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jun. 16th, 2007 11:59 pm (UTC)
Funny, I feel pretty friendless too. A friend stood me up today - and I had planned a nice dinner. I made the dinner anyway and it turned into a disaster because I feel weepy and dumb. I see so many of my husband's friends and it seems like all of mine are constantly unavailable. (most of them moved away from the city years ago.) It's hard for me to make new friends here in Pittsburgh, which is sad because I've lived here all of my life.

Fucking poop.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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