Hopita (hopita) wrote,

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Defeatist bullshit.

I am having such a hard time this week.

I had this weird little moment today where I was kind of connecting with Sprout -- sitting, talking -- and I've felt so groundless since pghwob left ... I don't really have a close friend here anymore.

And as we were talking and starting to connect, We Can't All Be showed up and derailed everything, and changed the subject, and just generally made a lot of noise like he always does.

Which generally doesn't even bother me -- he's an old friend and I'll always have a soft spot for him.

I'm in such desperate need of some understandin'.

And no one will get that joke but me.


Next week, I suspect I'm going to see hundreds of my long losts. It's gonna be miles beyond intense. How will my fragile psyche handle an entire week of such extreme highs ("OMG! I haven't seen you in ten years! I've missed you so much!") and extreme lows (the fears and sorrows about Antioch)?

I really wish I didn't feel so friendless right now. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but it sucks. My heart is broken, and I'm not really sure who to talk to this time around.

Miss Prissy Pants came by to see me today. That was kinda great.
Tags: antioch, depression, friends, heartbreak, jim isler, loneliness, me, miss prissy pants, pghwob, sad, sprout

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