Which of course means that we're entering into one of my least favorite times of the year: The Christmas Season.
I actually had a little dream about it. I dreamt that some woman was asking me something about Christmas -- something like whether I had my decorations up, or whether I'd made my Christmas plans -- and in the dream I was very aware that I made the choice to be false and smile and nod and say yes, rather than deal with trying to have a conversation with this woman. No, I'm not a Christian. No, I don't believe in Jesus. No, Christmas is not a secular holiday. Believe it or not, not everybody celebrates Christmas ... ugh. And now I'm stressing myself out about this crap even when I'm asleep.
And, if I'm going to be honest, I'm sure my "Bah, humbug"-ism has as much to do with the fact that I'm always left out as it has to do with religion. I mean, my birthday's in November so I never get Hanuka gifts from my family. When I was in college, someone used to have me to their house for Christmas Eve, and that always meant a lot to me. In recent years, my Aunt Patty has had me at her house on Christmas day, although I don't know if she's doing that this year, since Tommy died. Ugh.
I swear I'm not a sourpuss all the time. I think I just use this LiveJournal to vent when I'm feeling stressed or alone or sad or whatever. I don't have all that many friends in the city where I live. It's really warming to me to get the input of so many of my nearest and dearest who all seem to live so very far away.
Speaking of "my nearest and dearest who ... live so very far away ..." A shout out to Daryk for teaching me a new word yesterday: "scarper" ...