So I just spent nearly $40 on baby shower gifts for my cousin. I have no clue why -- I suppose I get it from my mother -- but I always seem to spend money on other people that I would never spend on myself. 40 bucks worth of Winnie the Pooh blankets. Oh yea, and somehow I have to get my shit together enough to make it out to Gibsonia by noon on Saturday. Baby showers. ::shudders::
And as long as we're playing the "what the fuck is wrong with me?" game ... last night, on my way home from work, I spent a full five minutes sitting at a stop sign, waiting for it to change colors. Was I tired? You betcha. Was I that tired? Well, I suppose apparently I was.
OK. Done bitching. Time to shower and get ready for work.
For some reason, the urge to smoke is very strong tonight.
I suspect it's because it's been nearly three whole days since I've smoked anything at all (yes, yes, I know what my quitmeter says ... over the weekend I averaged about two cigarettes a day and didn't buy any, so I'm not starting it back to zero over that). I know that three days is the magic number when all the nicotine leaves your body, and I suspect that it may just be my psychological inability to let go. But damn ....
I've been thinking a lot about class issues and the movie Rent.
I got into this whole discussion on the Antioch92 Discussion Board a number of years back about class and about the shame that (in this case) students at Antioch College who did not receive financial aid felt. I could not think of a single student who, while we were enrolled, revealed themselves to be a "full tuition student." Now, more than a decade later, some alums revealed that they were full tuition, but they seemed to all have disclaimers ("we came into an insurance settlement"; "my parents saved for years and had nothing left afterward"; "They could only afford the four years -- if I'd had to stay five, I would have been screwed"; etc.).
I bet you're wondering what this has to do with Rent, huh?
There's been a lot of discussion about the things that were changed from the stage version of Rent to the movie. Of course some things were shortened for time ... songs were cut, or edited, and some plot points got combined with others. Two actresses from the original cast were not cast in the movie (while the six other lead actors were), and the debate over the reasons why still rages on (was Fredi Walker replaced with Tracie Thoms because Fredi is fat and Tracie isn't?). But here's one debate that I haven't seen written about anywhere:
What the fuck happened to Benny?
For those not familiar with the show, a little background [MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD]: Benny is the ex-roommate of main characters Mark and Roger (and Maureen and Collins). Since their days as roommates, Benny has married a rich chick named Allison (who we never see) and bought the building that they all once lived in (and that Mark and Roger still live in). Now he wants to throw out all the homeless people who live in the vacant lot next door and build an electronic artists' studio there. Your basic evil robber baron type stuff.
Now, in the stage version of the show, Benny goes through a kind of redemption. Yes, in the beginning, he's portrayed as a guy who's forgotten what he believed in once he moved into a new tax bracket, but by the end, he's putting that money to good use -- paying for Angel's funeral (even though he knows Angel killed his dog), and offering to pay for Mimi to go to rehab. But in the movie, all of that is gone. Actually, Benny is gone. In the movie, Benny's not even around when they find Mimi (though I believe he's a part of the "Mimi's Missing" montage for about six seconds).
It makes me wonder. Rent is all about inclusion. The main characters are gay, and straight, and bi. They're white, and black, and Hispanic. They're cross-dressers. They're drug addicts. They're activists.
So here's my burning question: If it's not OK to hate someone because of their sexual orientation, or their race, then why is it OK to hate someone because of their financial status?