September 22nd, 2005

Me pink

(no subject)

I feel a little bit like I'm losing my mind right now.

At some point, yesterday at work ... oh, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like I lost my ability to deal with reality, so I just stopped ... started acting and believing that everything was fine, normal, whatever. And this actually worked pretty well ... got me through the day in a functional manner ... until I tried to sleep last night. And then reality started seeping into my brain and ... ugh.

But I took some melatonin and that worked and I went to sleep. Had still more work-related dreams -- I seem to remember the phrase "paper or plastic?" figuring prominently in my head last night -- until now.

Now I'm awake, and not smoking, and, for starters, can't seem to stop crying. I literally feel like I'm sliding off my trolley tracks. Like I've gone from denial to reality and slid right past that place and over the deep end. I think I'm gonna throw up.
Me pink


So now I appear to be showered, and dressed, and like three hours early for work. I have no clue what the fuck to do with myself.

Heh ... I suppose what I should do is go to Target and buy myself a fucking telephone, eh?

Ah well. I know I have pictures to pick up at Giant Eagle. I'd best do that.
Me pink

Big Bruddah

I'm updating from the Squirrel Hill Library. It's the first time I've been here since they remodeled, and since The Patriot Act began requiring your library card in order to use a computer (so the Feds can track your every thought and movement). Is it weird that I feel like my every keystroke is being watched right now?

As a random aside, Antioch College seems to graduate an awful lot of librarians per capita. I think librarians are mighty cool.