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Flashback

For the past week or two, I've been reading Augusten Burrgoughs' memoir Running with Scissors. One of the unexpected treats of this book for me has been that there is a character in it named Hope.

I look for similarities. Her long, thick hair (even though hers is black). Her funky jewelry. Some description of her carrying too many bags.

So I just sat down to read again. In the chapter that I started reading, Hope and one of her sisters are having a fight. And her sister, Natalie, hurls an insult at her: "Hope the dope."

I can't tell you how many times this particular insult was thrown at me when I was a kid. I remember it all throughout grade school. I remember the way it stabbed at me, each and every time. I do not enjoy to be reminded of that.

It always felt so personal and direct, like something that only the kids at my school could come up with to say to me. It's weird seeing it in a book; how did this guy know about that insult? It seemed so original to the kids I went to school with, when of course it was not.

Triggers, eh? Fuck. I hate being called names.

Comments

suewan
Jul. 3rd, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
It sure was. It was like a breath of fresh air in so many ways. I still miss Yellow Springs terribly to this day. I was so envious of you going to yet another reunion. It bet it was hot there, huh? It was always so hot there at the end of Spring quarter.
hopita
Jul. 3rd, 2006 06:22 pm (UTC)
If I get elected to the Alumni Board, I'll be attending three meetings a year in Yellow Springs (the third one being during reunion). This is a big selling point for me.

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