Hopita (hopita) wrote,

I kick ass!

I've got a thing with pride. I don't show it much. I don't feel it much. Maybe it's because my mother is a Seven Sisters woman, and I was raised to not be, you know, "showy" (I can't tell you how many times I've heard my Mom utter the words "I'm a private person"). Maybe (and this is more likely the heart of the matter) it's got more to do with the fact that I've got terrible self-esteem. Who knows. But the fact remains, it's pretty rare for me to say stuff like "this is something that I'm good at" or "this is something I do well."

Well fuck that. I am so over this smoking thing. I have had it had it had it HAD IT! I am fucking sick of this bullshit habit, acquired as a wannabe hipster fifteen year old. And you know what else? I can fucking do this. I don't give a shit that I'm fat, and I don't give a shit that I'm ugly ... I don't give a shit that I'm boyfriendless and alone and putting my fucking college degree to work by working in a grocery store. I may be the world's biggest fuckup in every other aspect of my life, but goddamnit ... I'm going to get THIS one right, and I'm going to do it NOW!

Eleven and a half hours and counting, beeyotch!
Tags: smoking

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