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A weird memory

I was just looking back through some of my recent posts and was reminded of something strange. vulgarweed may remember this, though I doubt anyone else will.

When I was in the van accident in college, I split the back of my head open. I was a smoker then and had been riding in the smoking van, but after the accident, I was really weird about smoking anymore. At any rate, I remember being with vulgarweed at some sort of memorial -- I think it may've been John's funeral, actually. She was going out for a cigarette and asked if I wanted to join her. I said no, and she thought it was a Jewish thing -- it was a Saturday and I'd been trying to not smoke on Saturdays (which was something I'd started when I was in Israel about six months prior). I said no, that wasn't it, and then confessed the weird thought/fear that I'd been carrying around since the accident: I was somehow afraid that the smoke was going to float around inside my head and come out the hole in the back.

Weird. I'd kind of forgotten about that.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
marlowe1
May. 10th, 2006 05:08 pm (UTC)
Sounds like OCD but in a very mild form. Like how OCD sufferers know that they don't have to wash their hands three times to get all the germs off but they won't stop doing it.
vulgarweed
May. 10th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, I remember that.

PTSD takes all kinds of weird forms, doesn't it?
hopita
May. 10th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
I was going to make an "it's not OCD; it's PTSD" reply to the comment above, but now you've said it for me.

Um, yea.

My personal weirdest moment: when I saw Colin in the caf around 9th week or so and was like "Oh wow -- I didn't know you were on campus this quarter!" Nevermind that he'd actually gone to New York with us and there are even pictures of me in Tomkins Square Park with him. He thought I'd been avoiding him all quarter, when I just genuinely had no clue that he was there.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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