Hopita (hopita) wrote,

OK, let's talk about smoking ...

Many of you know I had planned on trying to quit smoking again on May 1st. Most of you also know that that didn't happen. The long story short is that, while in breakup angst, I was buying cigarettes like prohibition was coming tomorrow, and when the end of April rolled around, I realized I still had a good dozen on so packs stuffed into my bags. Well, now I'm down to two. Two packs left. I usually do much better with quitting when I don't have smokes in the house, so I figured I'd smoke what I had left and be done with it. But now that I'm nearing the point of "done with it," I've got to admit, I'm getting scared.

I've done this before. I know how it goes. It totally sucks at first and then the sense of being glad to be done with it takes over. I'm trying very hard to remind myself of that. Because if I keep doing what I've been doing (namely not buying any more cigarettes), then it looks like I'm going to be quitting around the time that I head to bed tomorrow night. Only I don't care if I've done this a million times before: I'm still really fucking scared.

Other petty annoyances: it sounds like my muffler is about to fall off of my car. This really just started yesterday, and I called Al today, and he's going to fix it next Friday. But I also know that between now and then it is going to get worse, and I don't heart the idea of driving around in a car that sounds like a motor boat. The nice thing, though, is that having to take my car to Al next Friday gave me the excuse I needed to cancel that gynecologist appointment yet again. It was scheduled for next Friday, and, while I feel more ready to deal with that than I did in March, I am still by no means there yet. Now it's rescheduled for October. If I can't handle it by then, then something's really wrong.

And the bummer that only I will care about: I lost my "One Less Meat Eater" button today. Feh.
Tags: car, petty annoyances, smoking, stuff

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