These highs, these lows, this heartbreak is taking its toll on me.

He had suggested getting together tonight to talk. Now he says he doesn't think it's a good idea. I was terrified of seeing him, but I'm also terrified of not seeing him.

n0thingman did his part to cheer and distract me, took me out to lunch, took me to see his new place. I bought cigarettes and am not beating myself up about that too badly.

After I got Rob's message, I tried to call just about everyone I could think of, but nobody seems to be home. I'm sure I'll get return calls trickling back in throughout the course of the evening, but, for now, I'm just feeling incredibly lost, and alone.