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I Can't Breathe Without Affection

Today was a bad day. Part of the problem was that yesterday was actually a fairly good day, and that I was unprepared to be as upset and emotional as I was today. n0thingman says that's just the way it is -- it ebbs and flows and can be unpredictable. I'm sure he's right, but still ... today I felt like just such an insignificant speck on the face of the globe.

Maybe this is why I was crushed by the little things, like getting a mysterious card in the mail from my aunt Ilene. I saw it in my mailbox when I was leaving for The Co-op and took it with me to work, expecting it to be an early birthday card (and feeling mildly heartened at the sweetness of the gesture). Well, it wasn't. It was an invitation to a baby shower for my cousin Craig's wife Lisa. I didn't even know she was pregnant. The one tiny action of opening that card left me crushed for not getting the birthday card I had thought I had gotten, and also, for finding out about yet somebody else who was pregnant who wasn't me. It's not fucking fair.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
nirbhao
Nov. 10th, 2005 05:11 am (UTC)
if it makes you feel any better, I'm not pregnant either. I have an IUD. and the person I was planning on having kids with in three to five years is definitely not father material. if you read my journal at all, you should know that I'm suffering from severe mommy-itis over a miscarriage 5 years ago!

(I'm so pathetic)

on the lighter side, I am completely planning on writing you a special birthday wish because your birthday shows up in my little livejournal portal thingy.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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