Today, something happened at work. Something potentially good, future-wise. And something that Rob would totally appreciate, and understand, and everything else, were I, you know, allowed to email him. Which is not to say I disagree with lilostitch telling me that I'm not allowed to contact him yet ... it's only to say that I really wish that things were different.
Other things ... Allisyn said something that reminded me of how very close Halloween is, and I've been wondering about him and Halloween. We'd made all of these big plans together, costume-wise ... had been planning and talking for months. Now it's a week or two away, and I wonder if he'll still be doing anything at all, or if he'll take pictures, or what. Knowing him, I kind of suspect he'll stay home and skulk and do nothing, and that makes me sad.
Everything makes me sad.
I'm still holding true to my average of having to lock myself in the cash office once per work day to cry it all out. I'm also still terrified that he'll walk through those doors, but, more and more each day, I'm also really fucking hoping that he will.