I am having a remarkably hard time not contacting him. Remarkably hard. I told n0thingman that since lilostitch knows Rob and I both, I had decided to do whatever the fuck she told me to (her response? "i tell you to bake me a pie." She's funny that way). She says I'm not allowed to contact him yet, that he still has the upper hand, and that I need to pick a date in the future and wait until then. I torture myself with thoughts that run along the lines of "but what if he thinks I don't want to talk to him, and is waiting for me to get back in touch with him?" She says right now I'm too willing to sacrifice and compromise in the name of restoring order, and, again, I know she's right. I just don't know how I'm going to make it through another day, another minute of this not knowing, not to mention the fact that I just plain miss him like hell.