Why am I awake, you might ask?
Well, I'll tell you.
I'm awake because my drunken neighbors and their drunken friends spent the last hour noisily stumbling up and down the stairs, clattering and clanking and turning lights on and off. I was struggling to stay in bed until my doorbell started ringing. I got up, put on a sweatshirt, went over to the window and looked down to see a drunken man, presumably a friend of the neighbors, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, and pissing on the pile of trashbags waiting for garbage pickup.
Now come on, fellahs. We've all had a need to pee when a bathroom wasn't handy. But don't you usually try to find a semi-secluded alley, or at the very least, a darkened corner? Who stands smack dab in the fucking middle of the sidewalk and lets 'er rip? And, on top of that, who's dumb enough (or, more to the point, drunk enough) to lean on somebody's doorbell before doing it?
Ugh. Remind me to bitch at the neighbors tomorrow.