Hey kids -- do any of my Pittsburgh friends have a spare phone they want to give me? I have two phones in my apartment and in the last week, they've both lost the ability to ring. I think the cordless phone may just need another battery, but, well, I've been that impossible combination of broke and frazzled lately.

I actually don't even need a really functional phone -- the other one I have works fine, it just won't fucking ring. All I need is a phone that will make some sort of noise to alert me that someone is trying to call me. Anyone?

If you can help, please bring it by The East End Food Co-op. You'll be my new best friend forever.

Of course, if you don't want to come by The Co-op, I suppose you could try to call me, but, um, yea.

So it's 10:20 pm and the smoking stops now. This is nonsense, and it was really stupid of me to start it again in the first place.