I didn't make that post card, but I could have (well, I could have two years ago. I'm 40 now, going on 41). It appears on this week's PostSecret post, and I am horrified by how many people have already leapt up to say that looking down on people who can't cook is absolutely A-OK.
You know what? Fuck you, that's what.
As I said in the one non-judgmental thread, growing up, my Mom worked full time, and my Dad didn't cook. We had Stouffer's and Lean Cuisine for every meal. My Mom makes Lean Cuisine spaghetti for crying out loud. It wasn't until college that I even knew that not everyone lived like that. I thought making meals from scratch was something that only fake moms like Carol Brady and Shirley Partridge did. In college, I saw people making meals from ingredients and I was floored. I seriously didn't know that people really did that. Not on a daily basis, at any rate (my Mom could make a fancy recipe for a holiday dinner, but that was a Special Occasion).
So here I am, 20 years later. Yes, I can cook some things. I can do grilled cheese, and various egg things (scrambled, fried, et al). But if you gave me tomatoes and onions and a bunch of other similar ingredients, the only thing I could reliably create would be a sandwich of some sort. And I am beyond horrified that apparently that means I'm worthy of ridicule. I'm sure there are lots of people who don't know how to do certain things because they were never taught as children, whether cooking or sewing or whatever. But if there's one thing I've learned from everything I've read about being fat, it's that it's NEVER OK to judge somebody else for their food choices, and that you should NEVER allow anybody to do it to you.
So to everyone in that post who wants to judge others for eating processed foods: FUCK YOU.
- Current Location:United States, New York, Brooklyn
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I did eventually teach myself to cook, but some basic things that people with parents who taught them how to cook and bake take for granted are all things that I had to learn as an adult.
Oh, and I still don't cook very much now, even though I like to. I have an average of three hours a night between when I get home from work and when I have to go to bed in order to get enough sleep. So while I don't eat out of boxes and cans, a lot of what I eat is thrown together—salads, yogurts, stir-fries, and so on—because I need those three hours to wind down, do more work, and so on.
Edited at 2011-10-30 02:43 pm (UTC)
I think I had the opposite reaction to most people that I was shocked by how many people don't cook. I think I always took it for granted that most parents cooked for their children. Actually, Hope, the majority of parents don't cook for their families any more...these days it seems like most parents both work and are exhausted maintaining a household, holding down a career and looking after family. Cooking from scratch is not high on their priority list. It isn't really surprising. For me, I would rather cook than clean house. I hate house keeping passionately.
I also cannot wear high heels and walk properly in them no matter how much I try, so I guess I'll never be a sexy ultra-female sex goddess.
I can cook, but it's a rare occasion when I make an entire meal from scratch. I have to be in the right mood. The idea of having and hosting a dinner party where I do all of the cooking causes a lot of anxiety for me. Some people just love doing that stuff, and that's cool, but it's not for me. When I have holiday dinners at my house, I do the potluck thing to minimize the stress.
Cooking for me is trial and error. I'm still learning how to work with meat properly (that doesn't help you, but it's frustrating to buy some expensive cut of meat and overcook it no matter how much you follow the suggested cooking directions). I have an electric oven, and apparently that's a big no-no in the foodie world. I'm sorry, assholes, but that's what I have and that's what I use to cook. I can't afford to have a gas line installed in the kitchen-thath-was-never-originally-a-kit
I know how to swim, ride a bike, and drive, but I learned all of those things later in life than the average bear (and all with no help -- and some hindrance -- from my parents, if memory serves). And from what I understand about high heels, it's all about practice. Buy an $8 pair at Payless and wear them around the house. If, you know, you have any inclination to do that sort of thing.
It's funny -- I can still remember the not being able to swim thing vividly. My first swimming memory is of being on vacation with my parents, and my Dad saying he was going to teach me to swim. I'm sure he was right there with his hands on or under me, but all I remember was the terror of feeling like I was alone and drowning. I was probably still a baby, or maybe a toddler. Then I remember summer camp, and that there were numbered groups around the pool. Group 1 was hold your breath for 10 seconds and open your eyes underwater. I could hold my breath but it took me for-fucking-ever to do the "how many fingers am I holding up?" thing. And you know what? I would NEVER ask anyone to do that. Chlorine in your eyes? Bah! Goggles, people!
I learned to ride a bike when I was around 12, and I got my drivers license when I was 23. My friend Brian learned how to drive maybe 5 years ago, when he was 35, give or take. And if you want to have LOTS of company in the "I'm over 30 and don't know how to drive" department, move to New York City!
I rode a bike all throughout my childhood and stopped during my teen years. You know how they say you never forget how to ride one? That isn't true! I picked a bike up at 19 when I lived in Highland Park with a boyfriend - we had plans to ride bikes around and do cute couple bike things - I couldn't stay on the damn thing. I was crashing and falling off constantly. It was very frustrating.
For formal wear, I'm partial to the Earth Solar shoe. I actually really need a new pair -- I've worn mine to near-nubs. They may not be "adult big girl heels" but to me they're very European, and European trumps feminine anyday. In my book, at least.
I have a great pair of chunky heeled shoes with square toes. I've had them since 1998, and have taken care of them. I don't see shoes like that anymore. I call them my "Witch Shoes".
Back to cooking, even though I like to experiment and cook things when I'm in a good mood and I'm not exhausted from working all day, if I had it my way I would eat sandwiches all of the time.