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Homesick Dream.

I had a very homesick dream last night.

I had returned to Pittsburgh, I think unsure of whether to stay or whether to simply visit. I went to The Co-op. I remember hugging Jim Lingo, and Sprout, and talking about how it had only been two months since I'd left. Then I talked to Allisyn, and asked whether I could come back as a cashier. She said yes. I had such an overwhelming sense of relief. I went into the cash office to look at the schedule, walked around the back aisle by the buyers' office, all with that weird sense of feeling like an imposter that I always get when I start a new job (you're inviting me into the employees only area? Really? Are you sure?)

I went to my old building as well. I saw bits of debris on the first floor that I recognized as having once been a part of my apartment -- a door here, some molding there. I just wanted some stuff I'd left on the porch -- I didn't even want to go upstairs, let alone inside. My sense of safety there was gone. Mark was running around, being goofy, oblivious to my presence. I tried to get his attention and ask about my stuff but he was too distracted with his own frivolity, and I quickly realized it wasn't worth the effort.

But being back at The Co-op, and back amongst my friends, filled me with such a sense of relief. It was such a relief to be back home.

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