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Rough patch.

I'm having a hard time right now.

After aaronbenedict's visit to Pittsburgh, I posted a picture of him on facebook. Just him, not us, and with his approval. I believe his exact quote was something along the lines of "if there's any fallout, I'll deal with it."

Well there was fallout and, long story short, today he asked me to take the picture down. I did. He thanked me and, in the conversation that followed, he said something about having been asked to have me take it down. I had him clarify: did I just do a favor for his wife? Why, yes. Yes I did.

I'm having a hard time keeping my faith. I feel like I shouldn't even be talking about this. I love him. I trust him. And I know he loves and trusts me. I don't think he intends to screw me over, but I can't shake the suspicion that that's what's going to end up happening anyway.

It's Shabbos now, which means I won't get to talk to him for at least 24 hours. The loneliness is palpable. I know he's told his wife that he doesn't love her anymore, but she's still who he's sharing his home with. I really thought there would be more progress by now. Don't get me wrong, there has been some, but it's not what I expected.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
ratphooey
Aug. 1st, 2009 01:36 am (UTC)
I am so sorry this is so hard right now.

I hope it gets better. He makes you happy. You deserve that all the time, not just in fits and starts.
hopita
Aug. 1st, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)
Thank you.
_aqualung_
Aug. 1st, 2009 12:20 pm (UTC)
Seconded
(Deleted comment)
gebura
Aug. 1st, 2009 10:26 pm (UTC)
sounds like a job for Dan Savage. He specializes in situations like this, and tells it like it is.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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